I can’t believe we’re wrapping up 2014. I’ve been so out of touch with my blog lately. It’s been crazy trying to keep up with everything: work, family, visitors, holidays, illnesses…
I feel like being a working mother is the hardest thing to right in the brain. Am I doing the right thing? I’m so afraid of missing anything, do I spend enough time with my children? I want to provide a lifestyle they can enjoy and experiences they remember and I want to be a good role model, so I should be working my arse off, but I want my house to be clean and I want to paint the house every three weeks and sew beautiful creations and have a craft room… my head is one big sit and spin.
But I re-realized something today. My problems are what we call “White People Problems.” They aren’t real problems. And I’m whining about them when I should be smiling in spite of them.
Aung San Suu Kyi was held as a political prisoner in Burma for fifteen years missing fifteen years of her children’s lives and also missing saying a final goodbye to her husband who was denied access to see his wife during his illness.
And I worry that I am dressed like a slob when I pick up my son.
Maggie Thatcher was an iron-fisted leader and not one that I always agreed with (I’m too young to remember clearly, but I studied her political philosophies as part of my MA). But she was steadfast and unapologetic for her beliefs. “The lady’s not for turning,” she said.
And I panic that I might get laughed at by cold calling a potential client.
Oprah Winfrey was born to a single mother, she was abused, and had and lost a child at fourteen. Her future was bleak. Few people would have guessed would be so successful. But she worked and worked and worked. And she earned every single penny of her millions.
If they can make it to the top of their mountains by sheer brute force, then I can climb my hill.
So, as we come to the end of the year of the whine, I am shutting it down a few weeks early.
The truth is that I spend as much time as I can with my children, they are happy and sweet, and they will have experiences and the ones they cherish the most won’t be the trips, it’ll be the Christmas tree decorating, and the outdoor movies, and the walks. The everyday is what we remember. And I am a good role model because I try. I don’t sit idly by waiting for the grey hairs to take over, I get out there and I take chances even when I’m so afraid of being laughed at, and I encourage the grey hair. And then I bleach the crap out of them because this is my life baby!
I’m done whining. I’m going to get up each day and dress in my style.
I’m going to be me. I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m going to map out where this year will take me and I’m going to get there. No more stopping for directions every five minutes because this lady’s not for turning.
Head down, charge forward.